I encourage all of you to pack 25 pounds on your back and try running. It’s unbelievable how much work your body has to do.
Monthly Archives: September 2008
There is a happy dance this morning, but it’s only a tiny one. I lost a half pound for this week’s weigh-in (for a grand total of 9.5 pounds). That’s good news, but it only makes me all the more hungry to be doing the the BIG 10-pound happy dance. I’m really going for it this week. Cheer me on!
Added an hour later…Okay, I got to the Design Studio and wouldn’t you know, I had a big bowel movement (sorry for all the bowel talk this week). I swear…I definitely unloaded a half-pound in the bathroom today. I could be doing the BIG happy dance this morning. Oh well, that just brings me a little closer to a happy dance next week.
Big weigh-in tomorrow. Will I continue my losing ways and cross the ten pound mark??? Oh, I hope so.
It’s a weird feeling because for the last three weigh-ins I’ve been very confident before stepping on the scale. This week, I’ve been keeping my portions down and having little trouble keeping to 2,000 calories a day…which my friend Liza says is a clear sign I’m NOT a professional overweight person š However, it’s hard for me to tell if I’ll come in under the 194 mark.
I must say that weighing in once a week does help me stay focused…and keeps the goals manageable. Trying to lose 2 pounds is a lot easier to handle than losing all 25 pounds.
Here’s a promise if I can shed my tenth pound this week…I’ll do a 10 Pound Happy Dance, and everyone is invited to join in…because we all have sooooomething to be happy about.
It was one year ago today when I first tried Alli, that over-the-counter pill that magically zaps the fat in your diet and doesn’t let it get absorbed by your body. Let me warn you this story gets a little graphic on the bodily functions front, so skip this post if you’re a wimp about that sort of thing.
Last year I decided to give Alli a try. Afterall, even if their literature stressed it was no wonder drug, how could anyone resist the promise of a low fat diet while still eating all the fat you can swallow. Plus, at that time I simply wasn’t ready to make a “real” commitment to health, so popping a pill sounded like an appealing alternative.
I had been taking the pill with meals for a week. As warned, my bowel movements were oilier than usual…the fat has to go somewhere, right. But overall, the side effects were quite mild compared to the label’s warning. That was until Chinese buffet — Alli’s archenemy.
We had just set up Liam’s booth for the art show in Elkhart Lake and had to drive into Sheboygan for some supplies. While we were there, we opted to feed at one of our favorite Chinese buffets.
I was pretty confident a healthy serving of General’s Chicken and some eggrolls would be no match for Alli. I was right…for about 24 hours. That’s when I could feel my stomach starting to churn as if some intergalactic parasite had hatched in my body ala the movie Alien.
It was almost as if I could follow the food travel through my intestines by simply following the gurgling noises.
About an hour after going to bed that evening in the RV, I urgently woke up as every ounce of grease from the buffet was ready to evacuate from my body…immediately!
I could tell this was going to be a bigger job than our motorhome toilet was up for. Plus, it’s hard to do that kind of “business” with Liam trying to sleep on the other side of the thin bathroom door.
I began my quick-stepped walk to the nearby resort to use their industrial toilets. My gut was twisting and groaning. I waddled onward.
Just as I approached the resort, I had my first thought that maybe I wouldn’t make it to the toilet. I looked to the bushes and considered taking a “natural” detour.
I convinced myself that with the right amount of focus, I could arrive at the throne in time. I sqeezed my cheeks together as I hurried passed the front desk…then up some stairs…then down a hall to the bathroom.
I pushed right into a stall, and just as I began dropping my pants, the wretched liquid began to expel from my body. The first squirt didn’t entirely make the intended target, the bowl, but my underwear and shorts only had one oily spot to the back (there’s a warning for that on the Alli label).
I stayed in that position for about 20 minutes as an almost endless supply of the most offensive-smelling debris sprayed from my body.
It was terribly disgusting, and the cramping and monstrous sounds coming from my gut had me convinced that I might end up disemboweled…I was already imagining my emergency crawl to the front desk with my pants around my ankles and my intestines following behind.
Two hours passed…with waves of “I’m doing fine” to “dear lord take me now” interchanging at will. Finally, the liqud squirts ceased, my belly stopped moaning, and I had used about a roll of toilet paper trying to absorb all the oils coming from my backside.
Once the moment passed, my body was back to normal and the side effects were quite limited. But boy oh boy, I learned that Alli is meant for “healthier” diets as directed. After that sample bottle was gone, my Alli use ended. And although I never had another experience like that night in Elkhart Lake, I never quite trusted my body and weight control drugs.
I also wonder if there are many other men who have tried Alli…and are willing to admit it. Heck, talk about bodily functions seems to be a popular guy thing, right?
The other day Liza told me the story of a friend who was on a cruise made up of Japanese tourists. For the most part, a cruise is a cruise is a cruise, right? Well, taking advantage of a tour of the ship, this friend learned of one significant difference.
The tour guide and her Japanese translator took the group through the various parts of the ship. Near the main dining room, the guide pointed out a separate room; she opened the door and it was filled to the brim with food for the trip. As expected, the eyes of the group widened at the sight of a enormous stockade filled to the brim with wonderful food. The guide then walked them to the room next door. It was empty, but clearly identical to the previous room. “And this is the other food room…we need to fill that when we have American tours.”
Yup, this cruise line has to have twice as much food for an American group as it does for a Japanese group. This really doesn’t surprise me…even in my own travels to other countries, the concept of giant portions and appetizers…full meals…mounds of dessert was much less the norm (however, that seems to be changing).
Overeating has slowly been built into our culture. A 1,500 calorie meal has become normal. Grab and go foods forgo any attempt to retain the healthy attributes of the foods they replace. No one thinks twice about dipping a battered and fried piece of onion into a vat of full-fat Ranch dressing. It’s normal.
NO! It’s not normal. Eating until your stuffed is NOT normal. A brick of cheesecake is NOT normal. NO. NO. NO. Especially since we’re starting to eat these things without thinking…because we’re starting to believe it’s normal.
I’m breaking this type of thinking in my own habits. I hope you’re all doing the same.
Wanna see what I mean? Check out some of the worst restaurant foods out there…. http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22177/44294-worst-artery-cloggers-america/2
How often is there a call for a scale expert? I can’t image it happens often, but today, the tech guys needed someone who knew their precise weight to make sure their scale was doing its job. Of course they new I was the man to call!
I stepped on the platform, which was connected to all kinds of gidgy-gadgets and wires, and it read out 198.1. That’s three pounds heavier than my last weigh-in, but I was also wearing shoes and more clothes than I usually wear for weigh-in. I’d say their scale is accurate. Good work tech guys.
We had a great time at the little get together last night. I ate two portions of brownies, six portions of veggies and four portions of pita chips, so my belly ached this morning. I would have also had a portion of a pastry, but one bite and I knew I didn’t want to waste the calories…it just didn’t taste all that good.
There was a fair amount of snacks left over…of course only the unhealthy ones. I decided to pack them in a bag and pawn them off on the unsuspecting folks in the design studio…I can’t keep that kind of stuff in my house. There were a lot of smiling faces around the studio this morning…with brownies crumbs stuck in their teeth.
There were some great stories shared at the party…which I’ll have to sit down an type up tonight or tomorrow. Look forward to it.
I’m not a afraid to make a complete fool of myself on the internet…okay, I’m a little afraid, but I’m working through that.
To prove I’m making progress, today I posted my YouTube Supernote. It’s like a sport, only you don’t need coordination and the only goal is to see who can “hold it the longest.”
To play, you just record yourself holding one note for as long as you can…then post the video as a response to one of the team captains on YouTube.
Of course I couldn’t post a video without it tying to 25 pounds of something, so I stuck to music and sung my supernote while stacking 25 pounds of guitar cases…Les Paul’s guitar cases for that matter (For those who might not know, he’s the guy who pretty much revolutionized popular music back in the 1950s).
Not sure the stacking or the “help me lose 25 pounds” quote will make sense to anyone outside the Help Me Lose crowd, but what the hay.
I’m on the iJustine team, so go ahead and cut loose and post to our team. Here’s where you can get more details…